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 Concern
Treatment
Pregnancy
 Experiences
Experiences
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Anna & Pete (Australia)
Chapter Two: What if we never have
children?
“Here, use my IVF specialist. I thought he was
wonderful” is just something that you don’t ever hear. So I trusted
the referral from my local GP. I had my first appointment with Dr X
and didn’t connect with him at all. He was exceptionally clinical
and cold. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about my dog, let
alone any personal information. I left the appointment deflated and
depressed. I thought that, if all IVF specialists were like this, I
would never have children.
I found another specialist who was wonderful, yet extremely
realistic, indicating that, although IVF can help, it doesn’t work
for everyone. I thought, “What if it didn’t work for us, what if we
never have children”. As we found out, part of the IVF process was
seeing the psychologist. She started by asking about our feelings.
I recall her imploring us to remain realistic and remember life
without children can still be fulfilling. This was the exact point,
where she lost my attention. All I could think of as she continued
talking, was I bet SHE had children. Oh sure, SHE could be
positive, because SHE had children.
And my friends were no different. Filled with well wishes that, by
now, were empty promises. “Anna, don’t be silly, of course you will
have children”. Oh yeah, how do you know? You were the ones telling
me to just be patient and I would get pregnant - and I didn’t, did
I? So why should I believe the empty words being offered to
alleviate their own feelings of inadequacy? What if I never have
children?
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