Next Steps

Social networking

Service Navigation

last step

Support network: surround yourself with people who care

Discussing fertility issues may be uncomfortable, but it’s important that you reach out for support.

Deciding whether to share your news

Your first thought may be to keep details of your fertility treatment private. It’s a reasonable expectation given how stressful and invasive tests can be. Hopes of finding a quick solution may be replaced with uncertainty. You may want to keep matters to yourselves until you know what’s going on. But there are many good reasons to also reach out for support.

Your treatment journey may be less stressful. Fertility treatment triggers strong emotions. Hiding your situation may only add to the burden. A number of people close to you will be glad to provide support.
Sharing your feelings may relieve your partner. Your partner will find it easier to cope if he’s not the only outlet for your emotions. After all, he has a lot to process too.
You’ll realise you’re far from alone. One in ten couples experience difficulties with conception. Millions of people go through treatment every year. Patient groups offer many kinds of support. They include people like yourselves and others who’ve been through fertility treatment and now want to offer insight.
Professional counsellors can offer practical suggestions to lesson your stress. Your doctor can put you in touch with a psychologist specialising in fertility issues. You may want to go alone or together with your partner.
Internet forums and trusted websites like this one where you can learn more about conception difficulties and treatment.

Often, the most stressful stage of the treatment cycle is the 14-day period between ovulation and when you test for pregnancy. Try to stay busy and schedule a variety of activities. Find out what you can do while you’re waiting.

Communicating your expectations

Unless you’ve been through fertility treatment, it’s difficult to understand how distressing it can be. People around you may not know what to say and be wary of upsetting you. Your best course is to let people you feel comfortable with know how they can help. Here are a few tips you may find helpful:

Support network during infertility treatment

Decide as a couple how much you want to share. Speak to your partner and set privacy boundaries. Discuss how much detail you’re willing to share and with whom. Share only what feels comfortable. You don’t owe anyone an explanation: if friends genuinely want more information, direct them to websites like this.
Have some responses prepared. You may not always feel you can face another round of enquiries. Have a few short answers ready, like we’ll keep you posted, or you’ll be the first to know – responses that don’t require a follow up question.
Adjust your expectations. Friends and family who care about your wellbeing will want to support you and say the right thing. Sometimes, their efforts may seem clumsy, despite their best intentions.

Infertility is a sensitive subject and many people may not know how to react. Some may think you expect advice and solutions. Others may think you want to discuss your feelings and treatment whenever you meet. Guide the conversation and help them avoid topics that may be hurtful or make you feel uncomfortable. Feel free to say you’re not in the mood for an emotional chat and ask what’s new with them.

Galvanising support

It may help if you can talk to your friends and family about the role they can play. Some friends may be good listeners. Others may be top of your list to have fun when you need it most. Think of what you expect from your support network and let them know.

Draw up a list of activities in reserve so you don’t have to think hard if you’re feeling low. Develop some routines that help you balance your life. Set days when you want to go for a walk, or spend time at the gym, have brunch, an afternoon shopping or a trip to the cinema.

Use as many sources of support as you feel comfortable with. Each will have something different to offer and you will find what works for you best.

Obstetrician/Gynaecologist

A doctor who delivers babies and specialises in the treatment of female reproductive organs.

Oestrogen

A hormone that stimulates secondary female sexual characteristics and controls the course of the menstrual cycle. Oestrogen is also produced in low quantities in males.

Oligospermia

A condition when a sperm sample contains less than 20 million spermatozoa per ejaculate. Many medical conditions reduce sperm concentration. The effects may be temporary or permanent. See also Azoospermia.

Outpatient

A Person undergoing a clinical procedure that does not require admission to hospital.

Ovarian failure

The failure of the ovary to respond to hormonal stimulation from the pituitary gland because of damage to or malformation of the ovary, or a chronic disease such as autoimmune disease or ageing process.

Ovarian follicle

The structure in which eggs are nurtured to maturation. Although in general only one egg is released at a time, somewhere between 10 and 20 follicles begin the process of maturation monthly. The excess ovarian follicles are reabsorbed before ovulation occurs.

Ovulation

The release of the matured egg or ovum from the ovarian follicle.

Ovum

A matured egg.

Ovulation Induction (OI)

Medical treatment carried out to initiate ovulation.

Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome

A condition characterised by enlargement of the ovaries, fluid-retention and weight gain. May occur when the ovaries are over-stimulated during assisted reproduction.

Ovaries, Ovary

Almond-sized organ(s) located on either side of the uterus, which produce and release mature egg cells and the hormones oestrogen and progesterone.

Fallopian tube

A funnel-shaped passage through which sperm are guided towards the egg, and fertilized eggs are conveyed to the uterine cavity.

Fertilization

The moment of conception when the genetic material contained in the sperm and egg combine to create an embryo. Fertilization usually occurs inside the fallopian tube. It may also occur in vitro during a clinical process. See also In Vitro Fertilization.

Fertility treatment

Any procedure used to enhance fertility or to help couples achieve pregnancy.

Fertility psychologist

A health specialist with professional qualifications in psychology and counselling relating to fertility issues.

Fibroid tumour

A benign (that is, not malignant or life-threatening) tumour made up of fibrous tissue that may form in the uterine wall. Fibroid tumours may be present without any symptoms, or may cause abnormal menstrual patterns or infertility.

Follicle

A fluid-filled sac in the ovary, which contains the egg released during ovulation. Each month a new egg matures and travels to the fallopian tube.

Follicle Stimulating Hormone

A hormone released by the pituitary gland in both sexes. In women, FSH stimulates the growth of the ovarian follicle necessary for egg production. In men, FSH stimulates and supports sperm production. Elevated FSH levels are associated with gonadotrophin failure in both men and women.

Freezing

(See Cryopreservation)

Cervical mucus

A natural lubricant produced by the female body that aids the transportation of sperm and helps protect against infection.

Cervix

The cervix or neck of the uterus is the lower, narrow portion of the uterus where it joins with the top end of the vagina.

Chlamydia

A sexually-transmitted infection, which may be asymptomatic or cause genital inflammation and discharge, pelvic pain and fever. Untreated, chlamydia can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) and fertility problems.

Chromosomes

Structures found in the nucleus of cells that contain genes and carry heredity information, such as eye colour, blood type and vulnerability to disease. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. One set of 23 chromosomes is inherited from the biological mother via her egg and the other from the biological father, via his sperm. Each sperm cell contains either male or female sex chromosomes. As such, it determines the gender of the foetus. Genetic abnormalities occur when an individual is born missing a chromosome or has more copies of a chromosomal pair.

Clomiphene citrate

A prescription drug used to bring on ovulation. It comes as a tablet and is often used as an initial treatment for women with ovulation problems. Clomiphene citrate induces ovulation in 80% of women who have trouble ovulating on their own.

Conception

The moment of fertilization when the sperm meets and penetrates the egg.

Congenital abnormalities

Physical abnormalities present at birth.

Corpus luteum

A hormone-secreting mass within the ovary that forms from the remains of a follicle each time an egg is released. The hormones it produces prepare the uterus for embryo implantation. If pregnancy does not occur, the mass is shed during menstruation.

Cryopreservation

A technique used to store human tissue at very low temperatures. Embryos that are not used in an ART cycle may be preserved in this way for future use. Also known as “Freezing”.

Cryptorchidism

A condition usually detected at birth or childhood whereby the testicles fail to descend. When a male foetus develops in the uterus, his testicles normally form inside his abdomen and descend into the scrotum shortly before birth. Undescended testicles usually descend themselves by the sixth month of life, but are unlikely to descend after this period of their own accord.